Tales From the Bakery
by ro-iro38
Summary: The humorous misadventures of the RK gang in the realm of the Little Red Riding Hood. First: Ransom. Second: Seduction. Third: The Casting Director. Fourth: Delivery. Fifth: Fair Game
1. Ransom

Tales from the Bakery: Ransom

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters used in this fiction.

* * *

"Hello?" Kenshin blearily answered the phone and hoped that whoever it was would hear the sheer exhaustion in his voice and just bug off.

"K-Kenshin?" came the watery and very strangled reply.

Kenshin immediately recognized the voice however and sat up, instantly awake. "Kaoru? What's wrong? Why do you sound like that?"

He heard a heavy sigh from the other end of the phone. "I—I need y—your h—" Her voice cut out abruptly and Kenshin nearly crushed the phone in his bare hands when he heard her yell out and a man cackle menacingly before roaring at her to shutup.

"Himura," this time it was a man's ragged reply followed by heavy breathing. He sounded as though he'd just done something very physically taxing; Kenshin strained, but he could no longer hear any sign of Kaoru in the background.

"Who the hell is this and what have you done to my girlfriend?" Kenshin growled dangerously.

The man laughed this time. "Boy you're a riot, Himura. If you don't know who this is, then maybe you shouldn't be dating the little tanuki, eh?"

Kenshin's eyes narrowed. "What _exactly_ do you want, you bastard?"

"Hey man! I'm being nice to you right now, so don't call me names, damnit. Now we can do this the hard way or the easy way, it's your choice."

Kenshin sighed resignedly. "Fine, I'll do whatever you want. Just please, don't hurt Kaoru."

"Hurt—that's rich!" The man on the other end of the phone guffawed loudly. "Look, Himura, just get your butt over here, NOW!"

"Okay," Kenshin sighed, trying to stay calm so that the man on the other end would stay calm as well. "Just, please calm down."

"Look, man. I _am_ calm, but _you're_ pissing me off!! Now just hurry up and get over here or you'll be sorry." The man was most definitely _not_ calm, but Kenshin wouldn't dare point him out. All he needed was for him to fly off the handle and do something to hurt Kaoru.

"Okay, okay. Where are you?"

"At your girlfriends."

"How did you know where she lived?" Kenshin gasped, already having gotten up and put on his shoes.

"Don't worry about that," the man sneered. "Look, when are you going to stop asking all these pointless questions and get over here?! She ain't gonna last much longer without ya, lover boy."

"Yes, I'm coming," Kenshin suddenly paused though. "Don't you…you know, want something?"

The man laughed again. "Of course I do! Bring everything you got, Himura."

"You know how much that is?" Kenshin deadpanned as he impatiently waited for the elevator to get to the garage floor of the condo building.

"Yeah well, I'm a man with big dreams, what can I say?" the man laughed loudly, and somewhere, very small through him taking deep gulps of breath, Kenshin could hear Yahiko, Kaoru's younger brother yelling at him to hurry up. "Shut your damn mouth, kid!"

"Look, Himura, my plans don't include entertaining you over the phone. Hurry up. Oh, and of course I need to tell you that if you contact anyone about this you'll severely regret it, right?"

Kenshin grimaced as he barely slammed the car door and raced out of the parking garage. "Got it," when he heard the click of the phone, he threw it into the passenger seat and headed to the bank.

"Mr. Himura. That's a…large amount of money." Kenshin gave the woman an icy glare that told her to promptly shutup and do her job. "Right, well, I'll get that for you straight away." He was glad that he had managed not to waste too much time there, for he was never actually told how much time he had.

Now, standing in front of Kaoru's door, he mentally prepared himself for whatever was on the other side. Yanking it open, he was greeted by a very tall man with dark hair that actually looked vaguely familiar. He looked up, surprised by the sudden intrusion and then saw the keys in the door and smacked his forehead in aggravation. "Well, well, look what the cat dragged in,"

Kenshin walked into the apartment and gave the man a cold glare. "Where is she?"

"Oh, back there somewhere," the man shrugged casually. He then studied Kenshin's person for a while and turned around, going into the kitchen. "You didn't bring it,"

"Yes, I did! It's right here in this—"

The man spun around and clenched his fists, his eyes blazing with anger. "No you didn't, Himura! Now you'll be sorry for sure,"

He tried to move, but Kenshin slammed the suitcase onto the granite countertop in front of him, blocking his path. "Just open it up. I'm sure that it'll be more than enough to satisfy whatever plans you have," Kenshin muttered coldly.

The man gave him a questioning glance and looked back down at the black briefcase. Both men suddenly looked up at the sound of shuffling feet on the ground. "Ken—Kenshin?"

There stood Kaoru in the doorway of the kitchen, a heavy blanket wrapped around her shoulders and a tissue box tucked firmly under her arm. Kenshin rushed forward and clasped her around the shoulders, holding her to his body tightly. "You're okay! You're alright and your—" he suddenly pulled back and took a good, long look at her disheveled appearance before giving her a concerned stare. "You're sick."

She only nodded before suddenly whipping her head around so that she could sneeze. "Sorry," she murmured apologetically, sounding stuffed up. However, Kenshin didn't relinquish his hold on her. Instead, he turned and faced the strange man, who was gaping at the briefcase full of money as if he'd never seen so much green in his life.

"Kaoru, love? Who is this man?" Kaoru turned and looked up at the man with red-rimmed eyes.

"Oh, that's just my—KATSU WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?!"

The man, now identified as Katsu grinned stupidly. "Your boyfriend brought it with him,"

"Only because you asked," Kenshin fired back, keeping a protective arm around her shoulders.

Kaoru looked thoroughly confused. Then she turned a blazing glare on to the man and put one of her hands on her hips. "I told you to ask him for his grandmother's recipe book!"

"I did!" Katsu yelled in his defense.

"No," Kenshin corrected slowly, beginning to see where all the confusion was leading. "You told me to bring all I had. You never said anything about baking cookies."

"So, wait. What? Is this—RANSOM MONEY?!" Kaoru burst into peals of giggles that she could barely control. Katsu looked at the money almost longingly, before shaking his head and bursting into laughter himself. Kenshin stood in the middle of room, looking not only put-out, but also embarrassed. "Kenshin, what would make you think that my cousin had kidnapped me?!"

"Well, but…you sounded all upset over the phone—"

"I should be! I caught this nasty cold all of a sudden and I couldn't be trusted to finish baking for the fundraiser,"

Kenshin nodded. "Well, but then _Katsu_ snatched the phone away and I heard you yell and he was yelling at you,"

"That's because Yahiko had put an ice-pack on her forehead and she was whining like a little baby," Katsu said.

"But you kept teasing me and wouldn't tell me who you were!!" Kenshin yelled accusingly.

"That's because you should _know_ who I am! I'm Kaoru's first cousin Katsu. We've met, like, five times, dude." Katsu laughed, wiping tears of mirth from his eyes.

"Well why did you keep telling me I needed to hurry and all that other stuff?! You had me really worried!" Kenshin had since snatched the briefcase away and was holding it to his chest.

"Because the fundraiser is in two hours and we need to bake way more cookies than we have time for, idiot! Besides, I didn't want anyone to know that we had called you for help." Katsu groaned.

Kenshin face-palmed in embarrassment. "So I was supposed to bring my grandmother's recipe book?"

Nods.

"And we're supposed to be baking cookies?"

More nods.

"Oh, Kami,"

* * *

Poor Kenshin! This is my first posted Rurouni Kenshin fiction, and it is a result of reading a lot of fairy tales! The basis for the series is Little Red Riding Hood. And I'm thinking that there will be four or five of these things. I hope you guys enjoyed this one. As always, read and review and I hope the second one won't me as long to formulate as the first one did.


	2. Seduction

Title: Seduction

Summary: Maybe the Big Bad Wolf should've tried to seduce Little Red instead of eat her...

Disclaimer: I disclaim all characters used in this fiction.

Warnings: Kaoru's language is a bit angry.

* * *

"Are you sure this is entirely necessary?" I practically whined from my bed as Megumi stood at my vanity, putting up all her tools.

The fox turned around gave me an exasperated sigh. "YES! Do you want to go on that show or not?"

She had me there.

"Besides, I've already done your makeup,"

He _really_ had me there.

"Yeah, I do. It's just that this seems a bit…extreme. I'm sure if I just asked—p"

"Kaoru, are you forgetting about who we're dealing with?!" Megumi threw her hands up in the air and gave me a fierce glare. "Why take that chance? Just do exactly as I say and you won't fail! It's simple really, I don't know why you don't just do it." She had finally gotten all her makeup back into her bag and was shrugging on her jacket. I got up and followed her to the door, awkwardly trying to balance my high-heel clad foot on the carpet.

"I suppose you're right," I sighed, leaning against the door frame.

Megumi turned around and smirked at me. "Now, remember what I told you; I made it so simple that even _you_ couldn't manage to mess this up!" she leaned forward gave me a quick hug before slapping me on the butt. "Now go get him, tiger!" and with that she practically skipped down the hallway, cackling to herself as she is prone to do.

I heaved a sigh and closed the door before turning to stare at myself in a nearby mirror.

Dear God, what was I thinking calling _Megumi_ of all people to help me with this problem?

I flopped (well, as much as you can flop in a dress _this _tight) onto the couch and let my head fall back to stare at the ceiling.

This whole mess started when I sent my recipe for red velvet cake to the local TV station's latest baking competition.

Okay…so it wasn't really MY recipe so much as it was Kenshin's recipe with some minor tweaks. God, I wasn't even supposed to _have _that recipe and here I was trying to figure out a way to get a different recipe to actually cook on the morning show next week! Most of his recipes are locked away in his office somewhere (that's right, the guy keeps them locked in his _office_) and don't have titles.

Why?

Well, Kenshin's theory is that a recipe thief wouldn't spend the time trying to make something if they don't know what it is until its made.

Yeah well, he certainly didn't count on the boredom and genius of stealthy girlfriends….

At any rate, that leaves me here, right now, all done up, wearing a dress that I swear is two sizes too small and black pumps that could very well send me into orbit.

Nothing left to do now but call the man and seduce him. Hell, I've come this far. "So how exactly do I get him here?" I wondered aloud to nobody in particular. Suddenly, Megumi's advice came back to me.

"_Call Kenshin and ask him to come over as soon as possible. Make sure you sound panicky and frantic; that'll ensure his immediate arrival."_

"Right, panicky and frantic,' I muttered as I picked my cordless phone up off the cradle and dialed his cell.

"Hello?"

"Kenshin!" I gushed. I hope I don't barf all over this phone. "Are you busy right now?"

"No, not really. I'm just at—"

"Good, because I need to come over as soon as you can!" I severely hoped I didn't sound like a raving fangirl as I suspected I did.

"You're okay, right, Kaoru?" Ah, there was the concern I was looking for.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. I just need your help with something,"

"Alright, I'll be over in five minutes or less."

And less it was, because just after I had locked myself in my bathroom and was giving myself a MAJOR pep talk, I could hear his key turning in the lock. "Okay girl, just breathe and let your womanly powers flow!"

Except I _seriously_ doubted had any womanly powers. At least none to the extreme degree as those Megumi possessed. _"Just pout your lips a little, lower your voice a bit and talk him in circles. He'll be so distracted by the way you look that you could be telling him that his crotch was on fire and he wouldn't notice."_

She made it sound so damn easy!

"Wait…crotch on fire?" I muttered to myself.

"Huh?" I jumped and looked up into Kenshin's baffled violet eyes. Damnit. Forgot he was already in the apartment.

"Oh Kenshin!" I exclaimed and tried to keep my balance as I sauntered up to him (I hope I was sauntering at least) and placed a brief kiss on his lips. "I didn't even hear you come in," I said, making sure that my mouth was _really_ close to his ear.

He grasped my shoulders slowly and pulled me back so I could look into his totally unaffected violet gaze.

Great, it's _totally _not working.

"Kaoru, are you feeling alright?" he sounded genuinely concerned and not all dazed by lust as he should. Damnit!! Okay, calm down girl. New approach.

I spun out of his grasp and walked past him towards the kitchen, and judging by the footsteps behind me, I could tell he was following behind. "Were you on your way out?"

I giggled deliriously. "Oh, this old thing? (_More like this old line. Good going girl!!)_ Well actually, it isn't old. I just bought it and I was trying it on," I lied, hoping that Kenshin could believe such a stupid statement. "Sit, my darling," Oh now for that I just needed to be shot. "while I make us some tea," I pushed him into a chair roughly before squeezing his shoulders and ignoring the baffled expression he gave me.

"That's funny because Megumi wore that exact same dress last week when we went to see that play,"

I silently cursed under my breath. That's right; I had momentarily forgotten that Kenshin was the master of remembering any and all details from any and all events EVER. "Yes, well. I loved her dress so much that I decided I needed to have one just like it!"

"Strange, I would have thought you two had completely different tastes." Don't worry, Kenshin. WE DO. "You look very nice in it." I abruptly set his mug of tea in front of him and sat across from him.

That's it? No declarations of how much you want to throw me up against the wall and have your way with me in the kitchen then and there? New approach!

I grabbed the nearest chair and settled it right next Kenshin before sliding into it and pressing myself as closely to him as possible. Believe me, it was an awkward position because I was trying to figure out a way to snuggle in there without making him drop his tea. He looked down at me and I _sure_ his eyes went straight into the plunging neckline on that ridiculous dress.

NO reaction. Whatsoever.

He looked back up at my face, totally unfazed and raised an eyebrow at me. "So what was that problem you needed my help with?"

Oh. Shit. I completely forgot to come up with some elaborate, confusing, B.S. story to tell him. "Well…well I..I um…"

Kenshin around my body and rubbed my arm, drawing my attention to his eyes. Oh lordy. Who's seducing who, mister?! "Kaoru, you know you can tell me anything,"

"Yeah, I know…" Think think THINK!!

"So…?"

"Uh…I uh…" Why is this so hard to do?!

"Are you pregnant?" the questioned was voiced so plainly it took me a moment to realize what he'd asked.

"HELL NO!" I jerked in his grasp, forgetting where I was. That is, until his hot tea sloshed into my dress and right into the plunging neckline I' been sporting. Kenshin's poor eardrums.

"AAAAAIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" I jumped up, knocking the chair over noisily as I hopped around the kitchen, fanning my chest. I bet I looked like a made-up chicken.

"Kaoru, take off that dress!" Kenshin said after recovering from the reverberation of my voice.

I didn't need to be told twice as I pushed past him roughly and ran as fast as I could in those damn shoes into my room. I was already taking them off and as soon as I got into the room and flung them against the wall with a frustrated cry.

Damn torture devices.

Next went the dress. I practically ripped it off my body on my way to the bathroom, completely forgetting that I had borrowed it from the fox. I grabbed the closest piece of cloth I could find and ran it under ice cold water before pressing it to my chest.

I sat down on my bed in my underwear and sighed, watching random tears hit my knees. Oh, Megumi was going to absolutely _die_ laughing when she heard how badly I messed up this simple task of seduction. She wouldn't be too amused, however, when she found out what happened to her dress. All I'd wanted was a stupid recipe and what I got instead was burns on my chest.

I heard Kenshin enter the room but didn't dare look up from my fixed gaze on the carpet. He knelt in front of me but I still wouldn't meet his eyes, so he grasped my chin and titled my head up a bit. I wasn't crying anymore, which was a relief, but I knew I painted a rather glum picture. "Kao, what's up with you today? You've been acting weird ever since I got here."

Well, I might as well go with my original plan and just ask him. "Well, one day I was bored so I snuck into your office and stole a random recipe out of your grandmother's recipe book. It turned out to be red velvet cake and it was so good that Misao and Megumi convinced me to send it in to the local TV station for a baking contest they're having. Well, they loved the recipe and asked me to appear on the contest which is taping live next week. The only thing is they want me to bake a different dessert so then I had to figure out a way to get a different dessert from your recipe book without having to explain all this since I didn't ask the first time."

Kenshin blinked at me for a minute before an amused grin settled on his face. "So you decided the best route to go would be to…?"

I gave him an irritated glare as I realized he wanted me to say it. "…Seduce you." I muttered sullenly. Kenshin literally toppled backwards and was on the floor, laughing loudly and clutching his sides. "Hmph, it isn't that damn funny!" I scolded, poking him in the side with my toe.

"Yes…it…is!" he gasped between laughter.

"Well it was all Megumi's idea anyway." I cried petulantly. "I wanted to just ask you for it,"

Kenshin slowly stopped laughing and gave me a serious look. "Well, why didn't you?"

"I..uh…oh crap."

"You know," he moved closer to me now and I could've sworn that his voice had dropped a couple octaves. "You have a chance to redeem yourself,"

I looked into his lightly golden eyes and sniffed. "What, ask again?"

And then his gaze turned absolutely _wolfish_ as he looked me up and down before licking his lips. "Well…that's not what I was thinking," and then he literally pushed me back onto my bed and draped his body atop mine. "But you can ask me, too,"

And the rest, my friends, consisted of an entirely different type of seduction.

* * *

I suppose I haven't been entirely explicit in explaining these one-shots. The general idea is that Kenshin, with his red hair and affinity to cooking, is Little Red Riding Hood. Kaoru, with her black hair and inability to cook to save her life, is the Big Bad Wolf and tries to get Kenshinn (little Red) to divulge his recipes in various ways. Hence the summary above. I don't particularly want to go for any kind of obvious themes from the story, but I hope this kind of helped clear some things up since I've received a couple reviews expressing some level of confusion.


	3. The Casting Director

Title: The Casting Director

Rating: T for one theme, but nothing explicit

Summary: How should Kaoru cast the wolf??

Disclaimer: Because I can't remember if there is a proper one for this particular fic. Me no own. They no sue.

* * *

"So Ayame asked me yesterday why we'd never put on a play…"

"A play?" Misao asked, suddenly snapping to attention at Kenshin's odd statement.

"Yeah, a play." Kenshin shrugged and leaned back in his chair. "And she made it sound like it was the most sensible thing in the world."

"Dude, we run a bakery," Sano snorted.

"So?"

"A play…?" Sano leaned forward and slumped over his arms.

Kenshin shrugged again. "Well, she's a kid. Kids like bakeries. If we can get more kids with a play, why the hell not?"

Kaoru drummed her pencil on the table. "I think it's a good idea. Ayame is pretty regular, and if she brings friends from school with her, we could see a substantial increase in sales and traffic."

"When's the last time you were out in the bakery, raccoon? Traffic is WAY more than substantial," Sano grumbled

"You're just saying that because you don't want to put on a play," Tae smiled.

"Easy for you to say," he muttered. "You and Tsubame are in the back baking, Kaoru's cooped up handling all the accounts and numbers. Me, Misao and Kenshin are the ones that have to put up with the little brats,"

"Sano!" Misao screeched and slapped him across the shoulder. "You know you love those kids! They're all so adorable, how could you not?!"

Sano smirked. "That's because you _are_ a kid, weasel."

Misao opened her mouth widely to retort when Kenshin interrupted. "We're getting off track, people. I decided that it was a good idea to put on a play, so now we just have to decide what play,"

"Why not have the kids decide?" Kaoru suggested. Everyone agreed to this idea and by the end of the day, Misao had posted a large colorful sign advertising a contest to come up with play ideas.

* * *

"I'm kind of surprised there were so many entries," Kaoru commented several days later as she happened past the small round table by the cash register. Misao had decorated a large box with a slit at the top and in big artsy letters, written: PLAY SUGGESTIONS. There were little flaps of paper sticking out and Kaoru picked it up, shaking it appreciatively. "Gotta hand it to Misao, on this one. She really got the word out,"

Sano looked up at Kaoru from where he'd been flipping through a magazine boredly. "It could be the fact that every time she was waiting on kids she made sure they knew about the grand prize of a dozen cookies and one free muffin everyday for a week. By the way, I'm directing all angry parents to her,"

Kaoru just rolled her eyes. "Maybe I'll go get Kenshin and we'll do the drawing,"

"Drawing. Pffftttt. So official." Sano rolled his eyes again as Kaoru took up the box and waltzed off into Kenshin's office.

They emerged sometime later, both with smug grins and slightly tousled hair. "Geez, try not to look so satisfied with yourselves…" Sano groaned.

"Well, we have a winner!" Kaoru sang, ignoring Sano's comment. Everyone from the bakery (Tae, Tsubame, Misao, Kenshin and Sano) gathered around her. "Looks like a Yahiko Myoujin suggested we put on…Little Red Riding Hood!"

Everyone groaned.

"You're kidding me!"

"Can we draw again?"

"Yahiko Myoujin does NOT need any more sugar than he already consumes!"

"Hey!" Kaoru shouted, putting her hands up. "Now, as cliché as it is, fair is fair! I drew his slip, so we'll just have to suck it up and deal."

"I don't think it's such a bad idea. It's highly appropriate." Kenshin said. "We can clear out all the tables over there and build a little stage with curtains everything. Sano, you could get Megumi to sew us a small pair of red velvet curtains, right?"

Sano nodded. "Any excuse to see the fox acting like a homemaker is good with me!"

Kenshin chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Tsubame and Tae can start baking all the cookies. I imagine we'll need quite a few since parent and older siblings will be there as well."

Kaoru looked at Kenshin and smirked before leaning over and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "I love the way you take command like that! I think Kenshin, as the owner of the bakery, should be the director."

"It's Little Red Riding Hood, Kaoru. I don't think we need a director." Sano scoffed.

"And why not?" Tae asked, hands on her hips.

"I know I did _NOT_ make all those posters and waste my marketing genius on a play that will only last ten minutes or less!" Misao huffed.

"Perhaps you should write us a script, Sano. Your English degree more than qualifies you," Kenshin smirked at Sano' gaping mouth before shooting him a look that clearly said 'I'm the boss. OBEY ME!'

Kaoru clapped her hands excitedly. "Great! So we have almost everything together. Now we just need a casting director!"

"Why don't you do it, Kaoru-chan?" Tae suggested.

Kaoru's eyes turned all starry. "Me?! Oh why, I couldn't! I mean, what do I know about casting? Oh alright, I'll do it!" she gushed all at once. "Depending on how Sano writes it, we might have to double on roles."

"That's fine," they all agreed and separated to finish their respective tasks for the day.

* * *

"Okay, state your name and age please!" Kaoru was sitting on a high-backed stool with an open binder in her lap and large sunglasses hiding her eyes.

Misao, who was standing at the head of the meeting room rolled her eyes. "Seriously, Kaoru?"

"Name and age, please!" she snapped again.

Misao sighed heavily. "Misao Makimachi, Age 23."

"And what part will you be auditioning for Ms. Makimachi?"

"The grandmother, _Ms. Kamiya._"

"Start whenever you're ready, then."

Misao nodded, took a deep breath and whipped out a cane from nowhere. She bent down and crooked her back at a strange angle. She smacked her mouth a couple times and turned to Kaoru slowly. "You dangnabbit kids! Get off my lawn!" she waved the cane furiously in the air, and then set it back on the ground, breathing heavily as if she'd just ran a mile. She then pulled out a pair of glasses and wiped them on her shirt before putting them on. "Now what was I doing? I was doing something before those damn kids came and trampled my beautiful green grass…Oh I know! I was going to take a nap!" she moved forward slowly, taking small steps before she suddenly stopped and her head fell until it almost touched her chest. Misao released one loud snore before turning to face Kaoru and bowing deeply.

Kaoru applauded vigorously. "Very good, Misao! You got the part!"

Misao pumped her fist in the air and did a little jig before joining Sano at the cash register where he was staring at her open-mouthed. "How the hell…?"

"I been watching Jiya," she replied simply.

Sano looked confused. "Yeah, except Okina doesn't act like that at all."

* * *

Kaoru sighed pleasantly as she opened the door to hers and Kenshin's apartment and was greeted by the delicious scent of dinner. "I'm home!" she yelled, depositing her things on the couch and kicking off her shoes as she moved into the kitchen.

Kenshin turned and greeted her with a quick kiss before turning back to stirring whatever he was stirring. "Dinner will be served momentarily,"

"Great," Kaoru smiled dreamily as she washed her hands at the sink and then sat down in front of her plate.

"You're later than normal tonight," Kenshin commented idly as he served both he and Kaoru.

"Yes well, life as a casting director is tough work!" she said seriously as se twirled her spaghetti around her fork.

Kenshin lifted an eyebrow but only shook his head in amusement. "I bet. So who've you casted already?"

"Well, let's see. Misao is playing the grandmother. Her audition was quite good; she should consider taking acting lessons! Tsubame auditioned to play Little Red, but really all she did was skip around stage and eat cookies. But I figured that since she was the youngest, she'd be the most sensible choice."

"Naturally," Kenshin murmured in amusement.

Kaoru chewed on her spaghetti thoughtfully. "Sano has it in his head that he'd going to play the sarcastic yet lovable bus driver, but I dunno,"

"Bus driver? Since when was there a bus driver in the story?" Kenshin wondered aloud.

"Since Sano wrote the script," Kaoru rolled her eyes. "There's also a grocer, Big Red (Little Red's mother) and a masked ninja. But I'm not really sure how that all goes together." She sighed heavily again. "I'm really going to have to double up the cast on this one,"

Kenshin nodded and they settled into a comfortable silence for a few before he looked up. "Wait a second, sounds like you don't have a wolf yet,"

Kaoru shook her head. "I don't, and I don't have a smidgen of a clue who'd be good for the role."

Kenshin frowned a bit. "You know, Kaoru, I could play the wolf."

The clink of her fork against the plate stopped as she looked up at him with a blank stare before giggling. "Thanks for volunteering, Kenshin, but I think I'll just bring in Saitoh for it."

"SAITOH?!" Kenshin choked on a mouthful of spaghetti. "Why Saitoh?! What's he got that I don't have?"

"Well," Kaoru said patiently. "He's both big and bad. And you, well you're just my Kenshin!" she cooed, reaching across the table and taking his cheek between her fingers teasingly.

"Stop that!" he whined, gently pushing her hand away. "I bet I could play the wolf as well as, if not _better_, than that lousy cop!"

"Now, now dear. Don't call him names just because you're jealous." Kaoru admonished playfully as she gathered up their dishes and took them to the sink.

"Please?" Kenshin whined again, trying to muster his best pout.

"Nope!" Kaoru sang. "And don't even _try_ giving me that look because it won't work." Loading the dishwasher she turned around and leveled him with a serious look. "Seriously, Kenshin, you'll have to work the same as everyone else to prove that you are able to fully grasp and mold the wolf's character!"

Kenshin's eyes were burning holes through the table, but after that statement he shot them up to hold her stare. His eyes were slowly turning amber and he smirked at her. "You sure about that?" he turned his body in the chair to face her lazily.

"Uh…what?" Kaoru recognized that look and started to back away from him slowly.

"Well, there _are_ ways that I could prove to you how big and bad I can be." He slowly stood and walked over to her, giving her a heated look. Suddenly he used a burst of speed to suddenly appear next to her. "But I gotta tell ya, love,"

"Tell me what?" Kaoru squeaked, unable to look away from his smoldering gaze.

"I don't work the same as everyone else," he whispered before bending down, grasping her around the legs, throwing her over his shoulder and heading towards their bedroom.

The next day, Kenshin was very pleased to see that he'd been cast as the wolf and Saitoh as the grocer.

* * *

Didin't the last one end up with them in bed...? Ah well. When it works, it works! I hope you all enjoyed this one. It's more explicitly written around the theme. Reviews are greatly appreciated!


	4. Delivery

Title: Delivery

Rating: K+

Summary: I thought Little Red was the cookie delivery-person!

* * *

Saitoh glared boredly at his wife as she loaded up a gigantic basket with lotions, crèmes, various herbs and soaps. "What the hell is all that stuff?"

Tokio gave him a wary look as she continued to load up the basket. "They're sick!"

Saitoh seemed unaffected and lifted a single brow. "And?"

Tokio rounded on him and suddenly she seemed to tower over her giant 6'5" husband. "Kenshin is one of your best detectives and you mean to tell me that his well-being doesn't concern you?!" When she saw his gaze unfaltered, she tried a different approach. "Saitoh," she sang smirkingly. "Just think, if Kenshin doesn't get better soon, you'll have to rely on Sano for the next few weeks."

Saitoh's eyes widened factionally, but Tokio knew that she'd successfully broken him down. "Fine," he grumbled, trying to maintain his normal grumpy front. He took the basket off the table and looked down at his pleasantly smiling wife. "Is this all?"

Tokio stared at the basket thoughtfully before she jumped up. "No! Wait, I have one more thing!" she disappeared into the pantry and emerged carrying two large tins of chocolates and cookies they'd bought on their trip to the Netherlands.

Saitoh's face fell immediately. "Tokio, what are you doing?! Those are from our trip!"

"I know," she said impassively as she took the basket from his arms and attempted to find space for the tins.

"Well—but I was going to _eat_ them. And they were expensive! I can't believe you're just going to give them to those—those lepers!" he spluttered, allowing himself to lose face, for once.

Tokio glared at him again. "Saitoh, these things have been sitting in our pantry for over four months! You aren't going to eat them. And you were the one who insisted on buying them; I told you not to spend so much on something I _knew_ you weren't going to eat, idiot. I'm sure Kenji and a pregnant Kaoru will appreciate them much more than you, you selfish ignoramus! And don't call them lepers! It's just a mixed case of the flu and chicken pox. Now get going before you _really _piss me off!" Tokio raged.

Saitoh said absolutely nothing as she shoved the basket and the tins (which ended up not fitting anywhere) into his arms and literally pushing him out the back door.

The walk to the Himura's was short: they lived but three blocks away. When he got there, he saw that both cars were in the driveway, as they both had been for the past few days since everyone had suddenly fallen ill. Their three-year-old son Kenji had contracted the chicken pox and poor Kenshin, who'd never been lucky enough to get it as a child, caught it as well. Kaoru, though, was immune but somehow _still_ managed to catch a cold that had recently decided to ante up to the flu.

Knocking on the door, Saitoh rolled his eyes boredly and waited for a red-splotched Kenshin to answer the door. "Saidoh? Whadd're you doin' here?" his eyes were glassy and his nose was running slightly.

Saitoh frowned. "The raccoon gave you her cold?"

Kenshin nodded miserably, then seemed to brighten. "Wha' you got dere?"

Saitoh attempted to clutch the basket closer but knew it was futile. "Tokio made you a care package. So here." He shoved the basket and tins into Kenshin's arms abruptly and glared, effectively silencing any thanks he was to receive.

"I'll ju't uh…I'll call Dokio-dan," he murmured and closed the door.

And as Saitoh proceeded back to his home, he swore he heard Kenji holler "Yay, cookies!!"

* * *

I must admit that this is neither my favorite nor the best drabble, but it's pretty decent since I wanted to bring in different characters than I had been using. Plus, it was time to use Mibu's Wolf...as a wolf. And what a tongue lashing he received!! Anyway, I absolutely LOVED the reviews from the last drabble, and I look to forward to reading more hint hint wink wink


	5. Fair Game

Title: Fair Game

Rating: K+

Summary: How long will it take him to when that wolf for Kaoru...?

* * *

"Kenshin, can you win me that?" Kaoru looked up at her best friend imploringly and then pointed at probably the most giant stuffed wolf Kenshin had ever seen.

"What the—Kaoru why would you want something like that?" He asked, shrinking back from its sheer size.

"'Cause," Kaoru reasoned, bouncing around him eagerly. "I just do! Besides, Mr. Panda is getting rather lonely sitting in my room all by himself."

Kenshin had to resist the urge to roll his eyes; Kaoru was very serious about her stuffed animals and anyone unaware of this fact could be walking into a death trap if they didn't take her absolutely seriously. Still, Kenshin couldn't help teasing her a bit. "Kaoru-chan, don't Gus and Chilly Willy also sit with Mr. Panda on your shelf?"

Kaoru stopped her prancing and looked up at him with deadly serious eyes. "Kenshin…" she took on the tone she reserved for her misbehaving kendo students and Kenshin quickly nodded.

"Right. Okay, let's go win that monstrosity," he began walking and grabbed Kaoru's hand, lacing their fingers. His back was to her, so he couldn't see the light blush that stained her cheeks as he tugged her along.

"Wolfie," she murmured, trying to dispel the tingly feelings spreading up her arm. "I'm going to name him Wolfie."

"Right." Kenshin replied off-handedly as he walked up to the games booth and put down a few tickets. "I'd like to win that stuffed wolf, up there,"

The booth attendant, a short, but very energetic girl looked between the two of them and sighed dramatically with a large smile stretching across her face. "Oh man, that's so sweet! It's a hard game, though, I must warn you. I've been working this booth for almost three weeks and I've only seen two guys win that thing for their girlfriends,"

Kaoru was about to correct the girl, when Kenshin interrupted. "Well I'm not leaving till I get it. So what are the rules?" Kaoru again blushed as the hyper girl began explaining the rules—something about knocking down 30 pins consecutively in some sort of time frame—and sat on a nearby stool as Kenshin grasped one ball and tossed it around a bit. "So?" he asked, staring at her expectantly.

"So what?" Kaoru asked dumbly. She'd been so wrapped in her thoughts that she hadn't heard him ask a question.

"What do I get in exchange for my efforts?" Kenshin smirked slightly.

"Efforts? You get my disappointed thanks for your efforts. If you win, though…hmmm…well I'll have to think about that one." Kaoru smirked back and swiveled around on the stool, pretending to think.

"Uh huh," Kenshin chuckled. "Well why you contemplate that, I'm going to win you Wolfie," the booth attendant let out a loud, long 'AW!' That startled some passerby's and caused the ball to fly off from its target. Kenshin raised an eyebrow at her.

"Oops," she apologize sheepishly. "A ball on me, sorry!"

And Kaoru really _did_ have a long time to think about what exactly Kenshin's reward would be. Try as he might, Kenshin just couldn't reach the 30 consecutive strikes. Granted, he started off pretty well, getting up to fourteen before he missed. However, he only inched up after that. 16 consecutive. 20. 20 again. Back down to 19. Kaoru and the booth attendant were seriously beginning to doubt Kenshin's success, but they also knew that his very fragile male ego was now driving him and that he couldn't be stopped until he either ran out of money or won.

"Uh…sir? The fair is closing in about fifteen minutes," the booth attendant said nervously.

Kenshin looked over at her with a glare.

"Kenshin, nevermind about it. Let's just go!" Kaoru implored, tugging on his arm slightly. Kenshin didn't even budge.

"Kaoru, I'm at twenty-five! You can't _possibly_ ask me to quit now!" Kenshin practically whined as he shook her off gently and went back to staring intently at the stacked glass milk bottles. Rolling her eyes, she shook her head.

But surprisingly, Kenshin managed to get all the way to 29 before missing again. This time the poor man looked ready to begin sobbing. The booth attendant jumped up. "Hey, hey! Look, since you tried so hard, I'll give the wolf; you came so close and you spent…well, I won't tell you how much you spent, but look, I'll give you the wolf. It's just all so romantic!!" she gushed as she took down the wolf, which seemed bigger than her, and handed it over to Kenshin, who then presented it to Kaoru.

"Well, I won you your wolf. What do I get?" Kenshin asked smugly as they slowly exited the fair grounds.

Kaoru smirked and dug around in her purse with one hand until she produced a cookie. Kenshin's face fell as he arched a brow incredulously. "A cookie, Kaoru? All that work for a _cookie?!_"

She giggled then and shook her head. "Watch," she said and then…proceeded to eat said cookie.

Kenshin's eyes widened. "That was supposed to be mine! You ate my prize!" he looked very much like a petulant child and Kaoru had to fight her very hardest not burst into laughter at his expression.

"It is yours," she murmured before grabbing the back of his head and yanking his lips down onto hers.

Kenshin was shocked at first, but he quickly grew accustomed to the sensation and was soon kissing her back as if his life depended on it. They were so lost in their own little world that they didn't notice the lights shut off…they did however hear the booth attendant squeal loudly.

"AWW!!"

* * *

In case nobody picked up on it, booth attendant was, indeed, none other than Misao!

I really really did try to write this final one about Sano's script from chapter 3, but it just wasn't coming out the way I wanted...perhaps if it ever comes to me I'll come back and post it. This last installment is inspired by this harvest fair me and my friends are going to this weekend. Yay mini-vaca!! Anyway, I can't wait for fair food!! I hope you guys enjoyed and I also hope that you guys picked up on the Little Red references here and there...I know they aren't explicit, but theres only so much you can do with that and not be totally...predictive.

True to my word, this ficlet has come to a close. However, I might post some other ideas as they come to me or even other fics that relate to other fairytales. Until then, review and read please!


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